The Top Ten Greatest Cobra Lines in Sunbow G.I. Joe

Number 10:

"It is hopeless... We shall soon learn the eternal secret together." - Storm Shadow 

The Revenge of Cobra, Part 4: Battle on the Roof of the World

Throughout Revenge of Cobra, Storm Shadow was portrayed as more than a Cobra henchman like Firefly or Scrap-Iron.  

He was a spiritual foil to Spirit and had a depth of thought.  Both had keen intuition/sixth sense.  But they weren't personality copies.  Spirit demeanor made him calm and contrasted sharply with Storm Shadow's cryptic intensity.  

This was a trippy, nerve-wrecking line, thinking Spirit and him were doomed.  He saw the moment as inevitable, almost sacred in a way?  Resignation to the destiny we all face eventually:  death.

But not just putting the notion of death in the minds of children, but also what happens next after death, "the eternal secret."  What's beyond the vale of death?  Enlightenment?  Greater secrets?  It's ambiguous and unknowable, even to wise characters such as Spirit and Storm Shadow.  

Spirit saved his life in that instance.  Later, battling on the roof of the world, Storm Shadow saved his.  He also saved Spirit from being tortured by the Dreadnoks in Countdown for Zartan. 

These kinds of moments between Storm Shadow and Spirit elevated him beyond a simple villain.

Number 9:

"Cost effectiveness over the long run," Tomax began, "Is achieved through careful management of short-term cash flow," Xamot finished.

Spell of the Siren

Twin-speak was such a cool idea that the cartoon cooked up.  There was a wonderful, abrupt delivery here, patronizing to a point. 

Even Cobra needed money to work, and thus, the Twins, in many ways, were in "charge."  They assert power over Cobra Commander in Cold Slither when cash flow was a major issue.  They had a unified cynical endgame economic philosophy, an eerie psychic bond, they were thrill seekers, and operated within the law, so they were untouchable.   

The toy line/media did create a wonderful division of power that forced those within Cobra to work together.

There was a low-key split with Destro.  In The Germ, one of the Crimson Guard was to observe his experiments.  Here, in the Spell of the Siren, Cobra Commander was not pleased with Destro's mission cost overrun.  Destro, for his part, did not like to be lectured or held accountable to oversight: "Spare me your business school philosophy."  LOL

Tomax and Xamot debuted in Cobra's Candidate.  In this episode, G.I. Joe was initially unaware of Cobra's connection to Extensive Enterprises until Lady Jaye and Scarlett conducted some investigations.  

This did result in a minor continuity error, as Quick Kick appeared in this episode despite his debut being in the Pyramid of Darkness mini-series. However, since he did not have any lines and played a minimal role, this oversight was quite minor.

Number 8:

"While G.I. Joe and Cobra battle for the land, I Zartan rule the swamp!"  - Zartan

The Revenge of Cobra, Part 1: In the Cobra's Pit

It was unwise to dismiss Zartan as just a mercenary; he was a force unto himself, operating in what he believed to be the most advantageous locale, err, "domain," the murky middle ground.  

Destro sneered and looked down on Zartan and his Dreadnoks for being money-grubbing mercenaries, but Cobra Commander found Zartan useful and had standing arrangements with him.  He was well worth his weight in gold, Cobra Commander claimed. 

Zartan had a power G.I. Joe or Cobra didn't have because he had no loyalty to either, believing in neither human freedom nor the Cobra cause.  

Believed only in money and himself.

Number 7:

"... and this is but a taste of what you shall suffer if you describe me again as quote, 'a confused woman with whom I have been erroneously linked.'" - Baroness

Skeletons in the Closet

Baroness went to extreme measures to punish Destro for his unfaithfulness, creating a situation where his ancestral home would be destroyed.  She also, in a roundabout way, just to pour further salt on the wound, revealed to Destro that he was related to a G.I. Joe operative, Lady Jaye, much to his disgust.  

Baroness didn't just correct Destro; rather, she made sure he'd remember never to cross her... even if it meant, inadvertently, a dangerous Lovecraftian-like entity might be released upon the world.  Hey, but what did that matter to the Baroness when Destro was flirting with female Cobra troops?

Ah, the aristocratic fury of the Baroness scorned!

Number 6:

"Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind." - Destro

The M.A.S.S. Device Part 1:  The Cobra Strikes 

These back-and-forths would continue throughout the series.  

Cobra Commander, the petty tyrant, had the organization, resources, and thrived on fear and theatrical dominance.  His leadership was emotional and erratic.  He wanted results and would blame Destro when things didn't go as planned.  That was the typical loop with these two, "This is all your fault, Destro," could be heard or about in many episodes.

Destro, by contrast, was the cool technocrat.  A weapons supplier with aristocratic bearing and strategic clarity.  Unlike Cobra Commander, he was perfectly sane, but shared Cobra Commander's vision of the conquest of the world.

So, Destro surgically undermined Cobra Commander's complaints when the M.A.S.S. Device did not work, with a calm, intellectual insult.  It positioned Destro as the adult in the room, in a way, saying, "I'm smarter than you, and stop acting like a child." 

Number 5:

"There are no friends in Cobra, Buzzer.  Only convenient alliances.  We're all cannon fodder when it suits Cobra Commander.  I... I learned that... the hard way." - Mara

Memories of Mara

Mara, once a Cobra Eel, as a "volunteer," was genetically altered in an experiment that left her unable to breathe air, essentially a proto Hydro-Viper.  

What was even more tragic was that she joined Cobra because of poverty.  Unity and purpose within Cobra were just an illusion.  Mara even remarked to Shipwreck how Cobra didn't let on how much it wanted.  She didn't figure that out until it was too late, until she learned firsthand the human cost of Cobra's goals. 

Mara's words, more than any words spoken over the cartoon, highlighted the false reality of Cobra.  A promised belonging, a cause to believe in, but all it delivered was the exploitation of those within it.  Loyalty was transactional, and individuality was expendable.  

Number 4:

"Resistance to the rule of Serpentor is no more!  The city of Washington now enters a new era in history!  The dawn of a thousand-year rule of Cobra!  All shall be crushed beneath Serpentor's iron heel!" - Serpentor

 Arise, Serpentor, Arise! Part 5

Serpentor's demeanor embodied divine-right absolutism.  He was truly regal, ruthless, and almost mythic in presence.  This was the moment when Cobra transitioned from being a terrorist organization to establishing an empire, fueled by a cult-like devotion to their Emperor (save for Cobra Commander).

He drew upon the rhetoric of historical conquerors (his genetic donors).  Unlike the chaotic ambitions of Cobra Commander, Serpentor spoke with an unwavering sense of destiny.  Serpentor inspired Cobra in a way that Cobra Commander simply could not.

The phrase "thousand-year rule" echoed real-world authoritarian propaganda, while "crushed beneath Serpentor's iron heel" evoked imagery of fascist domination.  Of course, the issue here was, "invasion is easy,"... holding it was impossible.

Number 3:

"Now I'll never rule the world!  I hate this job!"  - Cobra Commander

The Pyramid of Darkness Part 5: Knotting Cobra's Coils

When things unraveled, Cobra Commander pouted.  It never failed.

This was Cobra Commander at his most petulant, but also strangely, his most human.  

Cobra Commander was a character driven by frustration, insecurity, and a desperate need for validation.  He could be oddly sympathetic at times.  

This quote stripped away Cobra Commander's theatrical villainy and revealed something more relatable:  the burnout of a failed project.  He was mired in bureaucratic challenges while leading Cobra.  

This leadership role brought little respect, and the chances of success relied on no one within Cobra betraying one another, as the Twins had done to Cobra Commander in this mini-series.  He was surrounded by incompetence and betrayal, and it all landed on him.

Poor guy needed a vacation.

Number 2:

"Know that I am the one you seek.  I am the one born to rule, destined to conquer!  Let those who fear me, follow me!  Let those who oppose me die!   For I am Serpentor, and this I command!"  - Seprentor

 Arise, Serpentor, Arise! Part 4

Serpentor shrouded was such a wonderfully strange, creepy moment.  Dr. Mindbender's process was scientific and perhaps, unintentionally, a bit occultist?  Destro, another scientist within Cobra, also dabbled in the occult.  

That's how I preferred things within Cobra.  It should go places the good guys won't. 

There was an earthquake and unmistakable supernatural energy as Serpentor stood and spoke.  Serpentor invoked fate and inevitability.  His authority was inherent; submit or face destruction.

Of course, Serpentor was far from "perfect" and had to keep Cobra Commander around as a scapegoat even though he was suspicious of him.  This created the plot loop in several episodes, Cobra Commander trying to cook up ways to dispose of Seprentor and take back control of Cobra.  

The simple plot loop with Serpentor was that he could always return.  Body, a bit of DNA.  Even Larry Hama eventually understood the value of Serpentor.  

Number 1:

"Hahaha.  It takes a strong stomach to watch me eat, doesn't it Destro?"  - Cobra Commander

Lights! Camera! Cobra!

The mystery of who Cobra Commander was, what his face looked liked was perhaps the biggest thing the G.I. Joe IP had going for it.  Cobra Commander knew Destro was repulsed and it amused him.  

 G.I. Joe could work without Duke or Snake Eyes, as both had reduced roles in comic and cartoon, but Cobra Commander.  He made the IP work.  The voice, mask/hood, if one character in this IP has value in pop culture, it's Cobra Commander.