PYTHONA (1987)

This is a lovely sketch of Pythona by legendary G.I. Joe artist Russ Heath.  The standout new villain in G.I. Joe the Movie, so of course, Hasbro doesn't make a figure of her to go along with it.

Dream Girl:

Pythona was given one of the most visually impressive moments in the Sunbow cartoon, the first action sequence of "G.I. Joe: The Movie," infiltrating the Terrordrome to deliver Serpentor a message.  She looked damn cool doing it.

It was a masterclass in Sunbow’s visual storytelling, providing eerie lighting, organic weaponry, and fluid motion in contrast to the never-ending corridors within Cobra's steel fortress.  She didn't speak a word during her break-in.  Some of the things Pythona did to these Cobra forces were horrific and grotesque, but also strangely appealing to the eye.

Pythona's movements were beautiful, sensual in motion, like a dance, almost... with an "elegance" as she made her way towards Serpentor's throne room.  There was not even a reveal until she was face-to-face with him.  

"None may challenge Serpentor!  This I command!"

"That won't be necessary..." 

"I... I have seen... I have seen you before... in a dream... a vision..."

"In a memory, great Serpentor.  I am part of your destiny.  When you

were created, my face was etched into your soul.  I am Pythona!"

Pythona’s demeanor was alien, yes, but also inviting.  It's much different from, say, Baroness, who always seemed on edge and ready to snap.  Pythona moved with a fluid grace, spoke in hushed tones, and rarely raised her voice.  Her presence was hypnotic rather than domineering.

The light and dark purple (secondary colors) organic textures suggest an openness and transformation, not rigidity or control.   She had large, expressive snake eyes, almost anime-like, with pale skin.  Then a ponytail, making her a femme fatale with mythic undertones.  As Cobra-La's Emissary, Pythona would infiltrate, persuade, and manipulate through allure, erotic sexuality, and mystery.  Her power was in invitation, not intimidation.  

Even Serpentor was left speechless.

The proto-Pythona ideas?  These looked like things from Flash Gordon.  Or perhaps the Cobra Emperor would be the Cobra Emperess?  Who's to know?  It would be too much sameness up against one another.  The finale design for Pythona was much, much stronger. 

A Woman Who Knows What She Wants:

Of course, Serpentor's creation outright made Pythona literally his "dream girl." 

Pythona's "temptation" toward Serpentor was to evolve beyond human constraints, from that of the symbol of Cobra's destiny to rule to that of Cobra-La's goal to wipe out human civilization.  Cobra Commander was chosen by Golobulus; Serpentor was created by Golobulus.  Pythona's menace was poetic, not militaristic.  This was taking Serpentor to a different function, a different role, an endgame of his creation. 

"It is not his head you should be worried about, Cobra Commander."

There's a small moment, when Cobra Commander led a defeated Cobra to the secret gates of Cobra-La, Pythona felt coded very much like "big sis" with him.  Not literally, but in terms of their respective relationships to Golobulus...   

"... you're in trouble now, bro," when Cobra Commander showed up at "home" as a failure.  

Pythona's calm, but frank energy felt like a mix of older sibling exasperation and quiet glee at watching him squirm, Cobra Commander knowing he did not live up to expectations.  Pythona didn't need to yell.  Her presence and simple words alone triggered Cobra Commander's regression as he tried to flee.

"I like that.  It's poetic in its simplicity."

With Serpentor, Pythona already had their first date planned, and even the gift he would get her, the Broadcast Energy Transmitter (the B.E.T.).   She wasn't interested in flowers and a mixtape.  The B.E.T. was romantic for them because it's dangerous and difficult to get.  Pythona moved around Serpentor like a choreographer; she's happy to let him lead, but she definitely sets the tempo with their relationship.  

There's even a hint of a smile on Serpentor's face as Pythona complimented him.  How often did Seprentor smile?  Pythona's chemistry with Serpentor was pre-scripted, after all.  So, it was not difficult to "seduce" him... to "curate" him?  

Behind every great man is typically a great woman. 

Pythona has already imagined all the different moments in their courtship, perhaps even a day, they'd overthrow Golobulus, the number of children they'd have.  She'd have it all without having to get her hands dirty.  Serpentor was just happy being with the woman he "dreamed" about.   

1987 Toy Collecting Disappointment: 

I wanted a Pythona figure because the movie made her the coolest Cobra-La character.  And it gave Serpentor a right hand.  It was another proper battlefield couple.  She gave Serpentor, frankly, more credibility than hanging out with Dr. Mindbender.  Just look at the guy!

Dr. Mindbender... a bald man with a thick mustache, no damn shirt.  It was all, rather, well... "gay."   

The play pattern was simple with Dr. Mindbender, anyway.  He would make a scientific device for whoever he was brown-nosing at the time, Serpentor, Fred VII, Cobra Commander, and it'd fail.  Rinse and repeat.  I know I got tired of playing out the stock mad scientist stuff long before the 1987 assortment of G.I. Joe figures anyway.  There would have been a lot more possibilities with a Pythona figure.

The movie put all this energy into making Pythona cool, desired, and wanted as an action figure, but...

... there was no Pythona action figure in 1987.  

Instead, we got this COBRA-LA TEAM three-pack.  First of all, it was not a "team," it was a prehistoric civilization of snake people... know what, eh, never mind, Hasbro.  Just never mind.  

Royal Guard - Cobra-La's forces.  Did not have his cape, an easily lost antenna accessory, and could not be army built as this troop was locked away in this three-pack.  This was the logical choice as a carded figure, swap in Pythona here!  

Nemesis Enforcer - The brute, bodyguard, and "enforcer" of Cobra-La.  He looked to be about 7 feet tall and 400 pounds in G.I. Joe: The Movie.  

The figure left much to be desired.  Not big, no muscle definition, and the wings were too bat-like, without a large wingspan.  There was something almost... feeble about him, sickly even?  As if the creature was going to die at any moment.  Nemesis Enforcer also included a confusing tentacle backpack, which most, including Hasbro, did not realize was meant to be a bio-weapon to ensnare G.I. Joes.  

Golobulus - An impossible-to-pose figure, and lacked what would be the coolest play pattern from G.I. Joe:  The Movie.  Him flying around, lording over everyone in his flight pod.  It all reminded me of the "floating fat man" from the 1984 Dune movie.  Instead, not much of anything could be done with Golobulus unless he was braced against something, propping him up.

So, where the heck was Pythona?  

Well, I imagine they thought if she were in the three-pack, it wouldn't sell.  

So, the only hope was if Cobra-La was a hit and the faction could justify a figure release year-over-year like the Dreadnoks.  But it didn't matter either way; the Cobra-La and the Renegades three-packs both flopped.  And G.I. Joe:  The Movie became this big, sticking-point controversy in the IP, fandom, so if a Pythona figure could have ever happened, it wasn't happening.  

In fact, the last proper female G.I. Joe action figure ended up being that lame Ninja Force Scarlett before the line ended in 1994, not even a new character.  

Destro's Anti-Gravity Pod (the A.G.P.), its pilot, the Nullifier, was meant to continue the Cobra-La faction as another kind of bio-organic troop, but with both the movie flopping, the toys flopping, this mold got folded into Destro's Iron Grenadiers faction in 1988 instead.  And that was that for Cobra-La in the toyline.  

No Pythona figure, but we did get losers like Battle Force 2000, Eco-Squad, ninja force yahoos, drug pushers, loser space Joes, and even space aliens.  Thanks a lot, Hasbro. 

Sunbow Season Three:

The Sunbow pitch long heard around G.I. Joe fandom, Cobra would be gone.  Serpentor, dead.  Cobra-La, destroyed.  Cobra Island, destroyed.  Much of Cobra Command, gone.  Cobra Commander, a snake. 

Out with the old, in with the new IP to be sold.  

Likely Cobra operatives written out:  Dr. Mindbender, Copperhead (who had not been seen since season one, anyway), Firefly, Major Bludd, Serpentor, Scrap-Iron, Storm Shadow, Wild Weasel.

Likely Dreadnoks written out:  Buzzer, Monkeywrench, Ripper, Torch.

Baroness, Destro, Tomax, and Xamot would be the only named Cobras remaining.

Zartan, Zarana, and Thrasher would likely be the only Dreadnoks carried over.  Zartan as the leader, Zarana for her Mainframe plot thread, Thrasher for driving the Thunder Machine.

Big Boa, Croc Master, Crystal Ball, and Raptor would be introduced, along with the new Dreadnok, Zanzibar.  As well as all the vehicles and troops from the 1987 assortment.  

A deleted scene in G.I. Joe:  The Movie, even, was meant to set up the Crimson Twins and Extensive Enterprises for their emergence.  Tomax and Xamot were both fairly down on Cobra-La's intentions, as their power came from economics.  If human civilization were wiped out, where would that leave them?  

Sunbow season 3 would have Tomax and Xamot leading a splinter faction called The Coil.

With the twins in charge, this would've emerged as a "rational" alternative, focused on ROI, not the "Cobra Cause" or a prehistoric race led by a snake king.   The Coil would be corporate, espionage-driven, and profit-driven.  They were capitalists and would use whatever remains of Cobra to make money.  I could just imagine a Battle Android Trooper robbing a bank. 

Why take over the world?  Just control it through economics, branding, and influence.  Of course, this would be an affront to anyone who believed in the "Cobra Cause."

DIC's intro with the G.I. Joe cartoon license in 1989, with the "Operation: Dragonfire" five-parter, absolutely felt like it cannibalized elements from Sunbow's unrealized third season, reworking proto-ideas into a new framework that was cheaper, faster, dumber, and more toy-driven.  

Here's how my instincts line up with what's known and what was hodgepodge'd together in DIC's Operation: Dragonfire mini-series:

DIC Reality:  Scoop is revealed to be a Crimson Guard spy, whose contact is Alley-Viper.  Low-Light distrusted Scoop.

Sunbow Possibility:  Mercer is a former Cobra Viper who defected to G.I. Joe.  Big Boa would attempt to pull him back into Cobra.  Low-Light would distrust Mercer.

DIC Reality:  Serpentor led a much diminished Cobra, with very little loyalty or fear from his operatives.  He used what remained of Cobra in an attempt to gain control of Dragonfire repositories.

Sunbow Possibility:  The Coil (Twins-led faction) is focused on money and economic power, not the "Cobra Cause."   They'd use the remaining Cobra resources for their own gain, much more outright crime-based.

DIC Reality:  Baroness, with Gnawgahyde, used the all-purpose-for-the-plot Dragonfire power to revert Cobra Commander to a snake-like human form to spite Destro, who had dumped her for Zarana, and also because she had grown disillusioned with Serpentor's leadership. 

Sunbow Possibility:  Crystal Ball and Zanzibar were plausible to bring back Cobra Commander, especially given their mystical and rogue vibes.  Crystal Ball would likely get the big front and center debut like Dr. Minbdender got in season 2 of Sunbow G.I. Joe.  Zanzibar would likely act as his lackey as Gnawgahyde did for Baroness in Operation: Dragonfire.  

DIC Reality:  Cobra Commander used the can-do-anything-the-plot-needed Dragonfire power to fuse Serpentor with an iguana, taking back control of Cobra.

Sunbow Possibility:  The twins would simply be pacified, and Cobra Commander would reassert Cobra's goals, ideological conquest, chaotic ambition, and the dream of global domination.   

"You twin twerps!  I'm back in command now!"

I do have a few issues with the possible Sunbow outlook.

There needed to be something from G.I. Joe: The Movie carried over on the villain's side beyond just Cobra Commander mutated/de-mutated.  

Golobulus should have remained at large, an external threat to both Cobra Commander and G.I. Joe, much like Unicron loomed against all in season 3 of Transformers.  A couple of episodes here and there would be all that was needed.   

Nemesis Enforcer and Pythona were too cool to just be gone, and as for Serpentor, as long as his body remained, he could be re-cloned again (even Hama eventually saw the light and brought Serpentor back in the Hama-verse comics).  Pythona was a personality contrast to Serpentor, much like Cyclonus to Galvatron, again in Transformers.  There needed to be a proper showdown between Serpentor and Cobra Commander, in any case. 

Pythona... Then, Now, The Future?

COBRA-LA TEAM

Back in the late '90s, I did have this Pythona custom figure commissioned when I had a little money.  It used the Sonya Blade body, which was the Jinx body, but for the Sonya Blade head mold.  The cloak was from an accessory pack for Darth Maul, from Star Wars.  This was a common way to make a Pythona custom, and even though this custom was very old, seen better days, but it has remained in fairly decent shape.

Pythona did show up, apparently, in different comic books from time to time, but I didn't read them, so I had no idea.

G.I. Joe: European Missions #6 would be her proper "debut," such as it was, where Serpentor hallucinated Destro as Pythona... okay?  Like, what?  Why is Pythona's outfit yellow?  Why was her cloak red?  Green hair?  What was with this "vision" of Pythona?  I don't think we ever needed a panel of Serpentor caressing Destro's iron mask, but what do I know?  LOL

I believe she appeared in the 2000s in a G.I. Joe/Transformers crossover story.  Pythona doesn't look half bad with her hair grown out!  She was also arrested and sent to jail.  Damn!

Poor Nemesis Enforcer!

The IP is currently in the hands of Skybound, and she became the lead of Void Rivals.  I have no idea, it was the one comic I was skipping, but man, I have no idea what's going on, but I feel like I need to make a run at these now...

Golobulus, you creep!

There was a 4-inch Collector's Club Pythona in, what?  2016?  And I don't have too much to say, I have her somewhere, but it was all rather disappointing.  This Pythona figure, the first official figure of Pythona ever, was lanky and had brown hair.  How did they botch her hair of all things?  The truth was, many of those Collector Club figures were lame.  This one fell in the "I'll convince myself I like it because it's Pythona"... but I knew it should have been much, much better.  

It probably fell at 2 and 1/2 stars out of 4 as an action figure.

The future for Pythona looks bright, though!  As she once said...

"Prepare for eternity!"

Hasbro disrespected Pythona in 1987, but times have changed.  She currently, as said above, starring in Void Rivals.  A Classified figure is coming!  And no doubt (hopefully) Super7 will be doing the rest of Cobra-La as ReAction+ figures to go with their nifty versions of the Royal Guard. 

"You mistake an appointed position for true control.  I smell

fear from your helmet, Cobra Commander, and it pleases me."

"We're off to cause destruction!  Feed Nemesis

Enforcer while we're out!  This I command!"

"You're crazy if you think that ssscaped together collection

of dead men's DNA will make you happy, Pythona!"

"Please don't wait up, Cobra Commander."