Pythona's Classified design input

"Enough of this spy kids crap, let's play soldier!"

 

My tribute to a surprisingly deep episode of Sunbow G.I. Joe, Let's Play Soldier.

Script Recyling in '80s Cartoons

Syndicated cartoons in the '80s and '90s often relied on repeating plot structures to sustain long seasons, especially when producing 65+ episodes per year for weekday syndication. 

David Wise wrote two episodes I remember well that seemed pretty... familiar?  This had been brought up in Transformers and Turtles fandom, but at least one stock aspect was also used in G.I. Joe.

Scarlett on Eternia

As a part of G.I. Joe's space missions, Scarlett had found herself on a mysterious planet and found refuge in an abandoned castle.  It was an eerie place, and both Cobra and Gamesmaster followed her there. 

Scarlett looked on as opposing robotic forces took on one another.  Exploring the planet would have to wait.

The Adventures of the Ancient Mirror of Avathar

 

"So you are like the mirror from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?"  Pythona tilted her head and asked in her usual haughty manner, "You know, 'fairest of them all' and all that?"

The mirror sighed and answered, "Like the mirror in Snow White."  Annoyed, it expanded its answer, "Know I am the Mirror of Avathar.  I answer questions of truth, desire, and destiny, not bedtime vanity.  Ask me anything and I can give you the answer."

Cobra Commander, never one to hold his tongue, interjected, "Then imagine the ssstrategic possibilitiesss!  Intelligence, prophecy, sssecrets beyond, psychological warfare!  With thisss mirror, Cobra could..."

Serpentor, from his throne, heard enough. "Silence, Cobra Commander!  This I command!  Your Emperor is thinking, and your voice grates like sand in armor." 

Pythona smirked and added, "Yes, Cobra Commander, please be quiet." 

Serpentor tapped his fingers on his throne and spoke.  "Besides, I have a question worthy of Avathar's power...Mirror of Avathar, reveal to us, who is the hottest woman in all the realms?"

Pythona arched an eyebrow, clearly expecting the answer.  Cobra Commander snorted and complained under his breath, "Oh, thisss ought to be good."

The mirror hesitated, knowing beyond all what Seprentor was and what would happen if it displeased him.  Its mist flickered, its frame trembled.   Then, it said, "It is... Pythona.  Yes.  Without question.  Her beauty eclipses all others.  Truly... unmatched."  

Serpentor turned to Pythona, "You see, dear, even the universe knows its true!"  

Cobra Commander had had enough. "Oh, please!  That mirror just told you what you wanted to hear, ssso it wouldn't get sssent to the wood chipper!  Did you not listen?  It was lying!"  

"What did you say, Cobra Commander?"  Serpentor said, getting up from his throne. 

Pythona smirked, "Cobra Commander, by all means, are you saying you know better than this magic mirror?" 

Cobra Commander backed down, laughing nervously, "Haha," he lied, "Of course not, Pythona.  I was just thinking, we should vet this mirror before putting too much ssstock in it.  I wasss looking out for the best interestsss of Serpentor and Cobra.  That'sss all."

Serpentor, not happy, further pressed, "Is not Pythona's beauty not the best means to vet this mirror, Cobra Commander?"

"Of course, of course," Cobra Commander said, "I agree with all your tacticsss and plansss, Serpentor!  What was I thinking?  hahaha.." 

Seprentor reminded him, "You don't!  I do the thinking and you obey like an obedient lackey!" 

Cobra Commander muttered to himself, "Thisss is why we never win... they might as well be love sssick teenagers."

The Top Ten Greatest Joe Lines in Sunbow G.I. Joe

Lights! Camera! Cover Girl did the meme!

 

Lights! Camera! Cobra!  has remained one of my all-time favorite episodes of Sunbow G.I. Joe.