A Twenty Questions Special Investigation

It's G.I. Joe Against Cobra

Somewhere, the Gamesmaster's new island awaited, but past the death‑maze, the oversized chessboard, the giant pinball traps (games he attended to use against both G.I. Joe and Cobra, perhaps even Dreadknoks and Cobra-La as well, in due time, but that would have to wait), he and his robot companion, Koko, were deep in his plush, overstuffed media room. 

Koko was already sprawled across a his chair, juggling popcorn in his mouth.

Gamesmaster turned on his TV, plopping down in his chair, "Oh, Koko, it's time for my favorite news program… Twenty Questions!"

Koko was unimpressed and complained, "Boooring! Let's watch something fun like Pee‑wee's Playhouse! Hehehe!"

Gamesmaster side-eyed his best friend and turned up the volume,  "Nonsense! The news is fun! Especially when it's about my favorite game:  G.I. Joe versus Cobra, locked in glorious, endless competition!"

Koko questioned his creator and only friend, "Gamesmaster just hopes he sees pretty lady again. Lady Jaye… hehehehe! Gamesmaster likes pretty lady, hehehe. Gamesmaster and Lady Jaye sitting in the tree... K I S S I N G!"

Gamesmaster threw his remote at Koko, "I do not! I do not! I simply appreciate staying informed."

Koko used the remote and pulled up Gamesmaster's files. "This would say differently, Gamesmaster's naughty Lady Jaye collection..... hehehe..." Winking at the camera, the ever-cheeky Koko warned anyone else watching, "NSFW, hehehe...so be careful... hehehe..."

"What a great shower, but why are the towels these days so 

small? Wasn't Dial-Tone put in charge of that? And I do 

feel like I'm watched all the time, oh it's probably nothing!"

Gamemaster quickly turned back on Twenty Questions and was at his end with his clown-bot pal, "That's, umm, just research.  Now hush, or I'll put you in the death arcades!"

The robot clown feared for his life, and slouched into position to watch the "boring" news, "Ehhh… hehehe… fine! fine! zipping it!... hehehe.."

The TV flickered. Hector Ramirez's theme music blared. The Gamesmaster leaned forward, eyes gleaming, while Koko was mumbling with his arms crossed, "Koko hates the news! hehehe."

"Ooooh, here we go! Let the game begin!" Gamesmaster said as Twenty Questions was off and running.

America's Favorite News Program

"Good evening, and welcome to America's top-rated TV News Magazine show, Twenty Questions," the world-famous host began, professional and well-spoken. 

"This is Hector Ramirez," he added, a line he had repeated for years, "and I am America's favorite news journalist, and tonight, we turn our unblinking eye toward two organizations shrouded in secrecy, scandal, and, if recent events are to be believed, slimy biological horror. I speak, of course… of G.I. Joe and Cobra."

Hector was sitting in his new desk, his hands clasped, his voice grave.

“For years, the public has known G.I. Joe as 'America's daring, highly trained special mission force.'  Their stated purpose: 'To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.'  A noble mission. A dramatic mission. A mission that, frankly, has given me excellent ratings."

The Fall of Cobra Island

Hector, ever the professional, continued his opening monologue, "Then there is the long-standing international terrorist organization, Cobra, as we all know, attempted world domination more times than I've had award nominations... and that is saying something!"

"But their ambitions suffered a devastating blow when Sgt. Slaughter, his Renegades, and the ever‑controversial Lt. Falcon infiltrated Cobra Island and reduced it to rubble," he explained.

"A covert operation so destructive that even I, Hector Ramirez, questioned whether the term 'covert' still applied."

The Death of Duke... or Was It?

As footage of a battle was shown, Hector spoke gravely about the apparent loss for G.I. Joe of a friend, teammate, and leader, "From the beginning, if one person was the heart of G.I. Joe, it was Duke.  His sense of justice was tested time and time again, but he was always steadfast and responded heroically. Those core morals never deserted Duke, and were at the heart of his ideal of America, an idea despised by Cobra!"

Hector, in a moment of emotion, even choked up a bit, as he went on, "This made the coming tragedy all the worse, a tragedy that shook the Joe team to its core: the death of their field commander, Duke, at the hands of the Cobra Emperor, I'm talking about that hodgepodge collection of DNA, the ever impetuous, Serpentor."

Then Hector raised an eyebrow as he went from emotional to skeptical,  "Official reports claimed Duke was in a coma. But viewers… I ask you, who survives a snake spear through the heart?" a flash of different names flashed on the screen,  "I have interviewed several respected medical professionals. Their answers were… skeptical. Duke has not been seen since. G.I. Joe's medical staff has declined to comment." 

Holding up a classified document, the host didn't miss a beat, "Still, this reporter has obtained internal G.I. Joe command protocols indicating that Flint is now listed as G.I. Joe's field commander and Beachhead as their tactical officer. This suggests that both individuals have advanced in rank, which raises suspicions. But answers will have to wait. We'll be back after these messages from our sponsors."

Cobra Commander's Humiliation

As Twenty Questions came back from commercial break, Hector Ramirez now launched into his next talking point.

"If there is one man most people think of when they think of Cobra, it has to be, of course, Cobra Commander, the masked menace!"  

Going on, Hector spoke with a bit of both awe and disgust, "Some called him a visionary, a mastermind, or maybe just a hissing melomaniac, but this reporter knows he's interrupted my programming with his threats far too many times. He could have just made his threats as a guest, but I digress or 'digresssss' as it were!"

Hecitor sighed, "I do pride myself on my impartiality, but sometimes it can be rather challenging." 

Then gathering himself, he went on.

"Whatever the case, Cobra Commander turned out to be nothing more than a servant to Golobulus, the self-proclaimed ruler of the ancient civilization known as Cobra-La."

"Cobra Commander, the man who once claimed he would rule the world, was mutated into… a snake."  Hector gave a dramatic pause,  "Yes, you heard that right. A snake! As a reporter who has seen a lot of crazy things in my time, I have no metaphor for this. He literally transformed into a snake."

"These very mutation spores were intended to rain down on this planet and transform every single man, woman, and child into mindless animals... a prospect that would surely have impacted my ratings!"  

The Final Battle

Hector cued up the next reel with the gravitas of a man unveiling state secrets, as he explained, "The reason Cobra and Cobra‑La wanted the B.E.T. was to power the spores launched into orbit. Naturally, this escalated into a battle for the fate of the planet inside the Cobra‑La ice dome."

He pivoted toward the screen behind him like a sportscaster breaking down a disastrous play.

"And once again, controversial, arrogant, but undeniably capable Lt. Falcon found himself at the center of the action."

Hector's eyebrows climbed, and with expert authority, pointed out, "Now observe the blueprints for the Cobra Air Chariot. More a visual of authority than a logical front line war machine."

"Then there is Serpentor, in all his bombastic glory. The cape, the hood, the gold trim… visually striking, yes, but this reporter has long suspected that wearing a parade float into combat might have drawbacks."

He leaned forward, savoring the moment like a critic reviewing a spectacular on‑stage collapse. "And here it is. In a rare moment of responsibility, perhaps the only one on record, Falcon outmaneuvers Serpentor by pulling that regal cape straight into the lift turbine."

Hector froze the frame with a flourish.

"Watch the physics, folks. The fabric gets sucked downward into the intake. The counter‑rotating props jam. The Air Chariot lurches sideways like a carnival ride losing power. And the resulting impact most certainly snapped Serpentor's spine like a breadstick."

He tapped the screen and provided common sense, "I don't care how many DNA donors you have, dead is dead. And most medical professionals I spoke to, the same ones who insist Duke couldn't have 'fallen into a coma,' agree Serpentor didn't walk away from this one."

Then Hector gave the camera a conspiratorial wink, “Who knows? Maybe one day an animated movie will dramatize the dangers of capes in combat. Wouldn't that be incredible?"

The footage shifted to the final assault. Hector narrated with the rhythm of a highlight reel.

"Golobulus supposedly bragged he could simply clone Serpentor again, but even an ancient snake king couldn't stop Duke's little brother. Falcon poked the eye out of that half-man, half-whatever, and then overloaded the Broadcast Energy Transmitter, causing the spores to burn up in orbit, and the resulting explosion destroyed much of Cobra‑La and wiped out Cobra's high command."

Hector struck a heroic pose, chin lifted, and said, "America loves a comeback story, and Lt. Falcon, for all his warts, missteps, and disciplinary hearings, proved himself worthy of the G.I. Joe name."

Then his voice dropped into ominous sincerity.

"But the story doesn't end there. The mutated Cobra Commander snake is missing. Serpentor's body is missing. Some claim Serpentor survived and now keeps Cobra Commander as a pet. Others insist loyalists from loyalist factions within Cobra are searching for their fallen leaders, hoping to restore them. And Golobulus… escaped. He has not been seen since."

Hector folded his hands, lowering his voice to a whisper, "These facts, dear viewers, keep this reporter awake at night."

"And it is important to point out that a handful of Cobra operatives survived, including the so-called Crimson Twins, Tomax and Xamot, corporate magnates, financiers, and, allegedly, acrobats. Though legally in the clear, the destruction of Cobra‑La and Cobra Island has left their company, Extensive Enterprises, teetering on the brink of financial collapse. Some might call this justice. This reporter calls it a developing story."

The Big Question

Hector turned fully to the camera, voice low and dramatic.

“We've heard the facts, and we know where things stand. Some argue that the G.I. Joe team is a relic of a bygone era, an expensive remnant of the Cold War military-industrial complex. Others maintain that as long as threats like Cobra-La lurk in the shadows, and with new dangers potentially waiting to control Cobra, America cannot afford to let its guard down. Tonight, we raise a question that few dare to ask: With Cobra defeated, its leadership gone, and its monstrous allies destroyed, is G.I. Joe still necessary? Has G.I. Joe outlived its purpose?"

The camera panned out to show two other people on the Twenty Questions set.

"Tonight, America, we bring you a civilized discussion, or at least, we'll try. On my left, G.I. Joe's martial arts expert, stuntman extraordinaire, one-time Frozen Fuzzies frontman, public relations volunteer… and apparently, he's not wearing a shirt! Quick Kick."

"And on my right, renowned peace activist, philosopher, philanthropist, and psychologist, or so his business card claims, Crystal Ball."

Hector turned to Quick Kick and bluntly asked, "Quick Kick, does America still need G.I. Joe?"

Quick Kick straightened, took a breath, and launched in with confidence, "As Bruce Lee said: 'Boards don't hit back.' But Cobra does, and they hit hard. So yeah, America needs us!" The studio was silent until a random stagehand coughed. "khkhkh... khkhkh..."

"Well, yes, what say you, Mr. Ball?"

Crystal Ball smiled with the serene patience of a man who knows he's about to dismantle someone. With a slippery voice, he began speaking.

"Violence begets violence, Mr. Ramirez. The Joe team perpetuates a cycle of militaristic thinking. I have devoted my life to peace and advancement, and with my group, the Church of the Coil, we look to defund and streamline America's bloated defense budget. What the world needs is healing, not high‑tech laser rifles. Particularly now that Cobra is defeated."

Quick Kick fired back, eager.

"Seriously, I have no idea where you dug up this Vincent Price knockoff, Hector! But look, like Rocky said: 'It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.' And G.I. Joe keeps moving forward. We're ready if Cobra, or any other terrorist threats, pop up again."

Crystal Ball tilted his head, voice smooth as oil, "A touching sentiment. But must we keep getting hit at all? Perhaps the wiser path is to step aside and let conflict pass us by."

Hector sensed blood in the water and asked, "Crystal Ball, some say your views align suspiciously with Cobra's ideology."

Crystal Ball chuckled softly, as if amused by children.

"Mr. Ramirez, I advocate peace, introspection, and the evolution of society. If that sounds like Cobra… perhaps we misunderstand Cobra." He paused for a second and began to speak and lecture directly to the camera. "After all, they possessed the scientific potential to revolutionize medicine, agriculture, transportation, climate solutions, global hunger, and the list goes on. Meanwhile, this… ah… stunt man offers nothing of value to our planet."

Quick Kick froze.

"Umm no, I'm a hit at the New Year's party and the college crowd loves me! Umm, hi, Amber! I know you're watching!"

Crystal Ball smiled and spoke, "It is clear. G.I. Joe is obsolete. The world needs thinkers, not warriors," waving his hand.

"This is all rather interesting," Hector said, "But we do have to pay the bills! We'll be back after these messages!"

Tin Can Crime Wave

"Welcome back to Twenty Questions!"  Hector began, "The question this evening is whether G.I. Joe is needed, but as viewers know, things aren't always so simple. Knowing is only half the battle, after all!"

Several videos played one after another.

"This is actual footage of robberies across America in recent months, in which Cobra's own Battle Android Troopers can be seen ripping off banks, jewelry stores, fast-food restaurants, and even barber shops!"

"Conventional law enforcement is not equipped to deal with these B.A.T.S., so G.I. Joe has been on the call. Who is making use of these B.A.T.S.? There's no definitive proof, but this Joe team member thinks she can prove it is Extensive Enterprises! She's Lady Jaye, one of the world's foremost intelligence experts, and a member of G.I. Joe!"

"Twenty Questions brings you all sides of the story. Here is Lady Jaye on our show."

Turning to her, Hector asked, "Good evening, and welcome. What can you tell us about this crime wave using B.A.T.S., Lady Jaye?"

Lady Jaye sat poised, professional, and unshaken by the studio lights. She offered Hector a polite nod before addressing the camera directly.

"Thank you, Hector. What we're seeing across the country is a coordinated series of robberies carried out by Cobra's Battle Android Troopers or B.A.T.S. These aren't random incidents. They’re strategic, targeted, and executed with military precision."

Footage rolled of B.A.T.S. tearing open a bank vault like it's made of cardboard.

"B.A.T.S. were originally designed as expendable frontline soldiers. Cheap, replaceable, and brutally efficient.  But someone has reprogrammed them for organized crime. They're hitting banks, jewelry stores, armored transports, small businesses, and even mugging women's handbags."

"Well, that is low!" 

Hector leaned forward, and paused, asking the question of the moment.

"And you believe Extensive Enterprises is behind this?"

Lady Jaye didn't flinch. 

"Yes. And here's why. Every B.A.T. unit recovered from these crime scenes shows the same signature: a proprietary firmware patch that didn't exist during Cobra's operations. That patch was developed by a shell company, Roxxon Dynamics, which, on paper, manufactures industrial robotics."

She tapped her notepad on the desk.

"Roxxon Dynamics is owned by a holding group. That holding group is owned by another holding group. And that holding group is owned by Extensive Enterprises."

Crystal Ball shifted uncomfortably. Quick Kick looked impressed.

"Tomax and Xamot have a long history of plausible deniability. They hide behind corporate layers the way Cobra Commander hid behind his mask. But the financial trail is clear. They're broke. They're desperate. And they're using B.A.T.S. to rebuild their empire."

Hector raised an eyebrow.

"So you're saying this crime wave is a corporate salvage operation?"

Lady Jaye nodded. 

"Exactly. They're using Cobra's leftover assets to generate fast cash and they're doing it at the expense of American civilians. Local law enforcement can't stop B.A.T.S. They're not equipped for it. That's why G.I. Joe is responding. And that's why the Joe team is still necessary."

Quick Kick pumped a fist and added, "Yeah! What she said! Also, like in Robocop, you can't send regular cops after killer robots! 'You have thirty seconds to comply.'  Right, right?" Again, a silence hung over the studio after one of Quick Kick's 'famous' movie impressions.

Lady Jaye sighed, but didn't disagree.

Crystal Ball folded his hands, preparing to strike back.

Hector turned smoothly from Lady Jaye to Crystal Ball, his expression the picture of polite ambush.

"Crystal Ball… surely, as a peace‑loving man, you must be appalled by these androids causing chaos across America. One would assume you condemn these attacks without hesitation."

For the first time all evening, Crystal Ball's serene composure flickered. His jaw tightened. His fingers curled slightly on his chair.

"Appalled? Of course, I'm appalled, Mr. Ramirez. These… tin can tantrums are a disgrace. A mockery of progress. No enlightened society would tolerate such mechanical thuggery."

Crystal Ball forced a smile, but it's brittle.

Hector pressed.

"Then you agree with Lady Jaye's assessment? That Extensive Enterprises is behind this?"

Crystal Ball's eyes flashed irritation, then calculation.

"Oh, please. Corporations fold, merge, restructure, and rebrand. It happens every day. To suggest that Tomax and Xamot are personally orchestrating a nationwide robot crime spree is… sensationalism. Even for you."

Hector raised an eyebrow, delighted. Lady Jaye remained calm. Quick Kick muttered, "He's totally sweating."

Crystal Ball snapped.

"I am not sweating! And I will not sit here while the good name of Extensive Enterprises is dragged through the mud. They are victims of circumstance, collateral damage from Cobra's collapse. Their assets were seized, scattered, and stolen. Anyone could be using those androids!"

He tried to recover, smoothing his hair back.

"The Church of the Coil stands firmly against violence. We seek peace, harmony, and the redirection of military spending toward societal uplift. These B.A.T. attacks? They are the desperate failings of criminals exploiting abandoned technology. Nothing more."

Hector leaned in, savoring the moment.

"So you deny any connection between Extensive Enterprises and the B.A.T. crime wave?"

Crystal Ball smiled again, too wide, too stiff.

“I deny any proof, Mr. Ramirez. And until such proof exists, I suggest we refrain from witch hunts."

Quick Kick raised a hand.

“Uh, speaking of witch hunts, this is starting to feel like The Wizard of Oz. 'Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!'"

Crystal Ball glared daggers at him. Lady Jaye folded her arms, unimpressed. Hector beamed at the camera.

"Well, America… tensions are rising. And we still have much more to uncover after our last commercial break, where live developments are being brought to this reporters attention as we speak!"

Top Secret Intel

The screen faded in from a commercial, the Twenty Questions theme barely finishing before Hector leaned forward, eyes blazing with the kind of excitement only a journalist with exclusive footage can muster.

"Welcome back to Twenty Questions! Before the break, we discussed the alarming rise in B.A.T.‑related crime across America. But, viewers… developments are unfolding right now. And we have them LIVE."

He shuffled papers dramatically, the universal signal for "this is big."

"For months, G.I. Joe has quietly deployed several operatives with very… specific skill sets. In a rare moment of restraint, Beachhead, the Joe team's notoriously intense ranger, coordinated a covert investigation using two specialists. G.I. Joe has proved this program with two video clips as part of its investigation. First, Chuckles, undercover operative extraordinaire..."

"This is the best kind of caper, one where we don't even have to get our hands dirty!" Zanzibar crowed.

"Ahem! Side bar, Zartan! Where'd this guy show up from? Why is he dressed like a bloody pirate? Why does he have a Z at the start of his name? I thought that was a thing for you and your siblings? Gimmick infringement? How can we trust him?"

"Oh, don't worry, Thrasher, I am completely loyal to the Dreadnoks," the man in a patch said with a wink, "And have provided plenty of prime targets for the B.A.T.S. to rob. Urban piracy is sort of my thing." 

"Neatly, done, sister," Zartan spoke, paying no mind to Thrasher's concerns, "I trust the firmware updates on the other B.A.T.S. are finished as well."

"Well, yeah, if that lazy bum, Monkeywrench, would pull his weight!" 

"Oh, I'm going as fast as I can!"

"... and then there is this clip, gathered by Sneak Peek, the Joe team's premier reconnaissance scout."

"Oh, Destro, your scheme is excellent." Baroness lapped praise on the man she loved, but he was angry all the same.

"Bah. Wasting my genius on petty crime."

"Its no matter, Destro, with your simple coding alteration, the B.A.T.S. will do their job, and Cobra will live on."

"Oh yeah. That's the stuff..."

"Besides, Destro, we don't have to check in with our allies for some time, so I will do anything to help you release some stress."

"Hmm. Yes, well, I have been rather tense lately..."

"Make sure to use the whip!"

"Anything for you Baroness... mmmm..."

"Man, I love my job! Wait till I show Dial-Tone this!"

Exclusive Live Feed

A map of Enterprise City appeared behind him, red markers blinking ominously.

"Together, these operatives located the very factory where the stolen B.A.T.S. are being stored, repaired, and redeployed. And yes, America… I can exclusively confirm that this facility is registered to none other than Roxxon Dynamics, the same shell company Lady Jaye identified earlier."

Searchlights swept across a warehouse rooftop. Figures moved in formation.

Crystal Ball stiffened. Quick Kick mouthed, "I knew it."

Hector pressed a finger to his earpiece, milking the moment.

"Stay with us because Twenty Questions is the only program bringing you this exclusive coverage! We now take you live to Enterprise City, where Sgt. Slaughter, and, in a surprising twist, Lt. Falcon and Jinx, current G.I. Joe It-Couple, are preparing to launch a full tactical raid on the facility."

The broadcast went to a split screen: studio on the left, grainy nighttime footage on the right.

Quick Kick leaned toward the camera.

"This is like Predator, man. All we need is the jungle and the handshake."

Crystal Ball muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a curse.

Hector continued, voice rising with anticipation.

"We are moments away from witnessing a live strike against what may be the last operational Cobra‑aligned facility on American soil."

The live feed zoomed in on Sgt. Slaughter raising his fist, the silent signal to begin.

"Welcome to drop-kick city, Scrap-Iron!"

"Zartan, you have to do something, I'm a mad scientist, not a leader! I don't know how to make decisions!" Dr. Mindbender whimpered as the compound was under siege. 

Zartan snarled back, "The firmware updates have made the B.A.T.S. original programming useless. We're on our own!"

Down the hall, Zarana was in a losing fight with Jinx.

"You gotta be kidding me, and I hate ninjas! I hate them!" Zarana ranted as she was getting her butt kicked.

"Well, I love 'em!" Lt. Falcon smirked, "You should see the moves Jinx pulls out when were alone.... she has this one thing she can do with her..."

Jinx huffed, "FALCON! THIS IS BEING AIRRED ON NATIONAL TV!"

Falcon immediately shut up.

Sgt. Slaughter cornered Dr. Mindbender.

"Mindbender!"  Sgt. Slaugter approached, "Petty crime, that's a new low even for you! I think it's time I help you remember your first profession in dentistry because you're going to need one once I'm done knocking out your teeth one by one!" 

"Zartan do something!" Dr. Mindbender whimpered. Zartan replied, "You do something! I'm just the hired help. You're the brains here!"

Just then, Zarana shoved Sgt. Slaughter aside with surprising force.

"AAAAAHHHH!!! I'm getting out of here!" Zarana screamed as she pushed the Sarge aside.

"Oof," Sgt. Slaughter reacted in a surprising moment as he lost his balance as Zarana was like a woman possessed. She was not going to be taken into Joe custody. 

Zartan offered, "Follow Scrap-Iron and jump in the cooling water. It is a direct pipeline into the Enterprise City water works. Its only way to escape!"

Zarana and Dr. Mindender didn’t hesitate and jumped in with Zartan.

Falcon rushed to Slaughter's side.

"You ok, Sarge?" Lt. Falcon asked. "Just my pride. Zarana is stronger than she looks." And then Lt. Falcon followed up, "Should we go after them?"  Sarge shook his head, "Nah, the important thing is we put an end to this B.A.T.-crime wave."

Closing Thoughts

The live feed faded back to the studio. Hector Ramirez sat taller than ever, practically glowing with the thrill of exclusive coverage.

"What you have just witnessed, America, is nothing short of extraordinary. A live tactical strike, executed with precision, courage, and, in Lt. Falcon's case, questionable timing on personal anecdotes."

He pressed a hand to his earpiece again, eyes widening.

"We now return to Sgt. Slaughter on the scene for an official statement. Sarge, can you hear me?"

The screen cut back to the warehouse exterior. Smoke drifted from shattered windows. B.A.T. parts littered the pavement like metallic confetti. Sgt. Slaughter stood front and center, arms crossed, looking like he'd just wrestled a tank and won.

"Loud and clear, Hector."

"Sarge, the nation has watched this raid unfold live. What can you tell us about the future of G.I. Joe in light of tonight's events?"

Slaughter's expression softened, just a little, into something proud.

"Well, Hector… I just got off the horn with the President of the United States. And he told me personally, G.I. Joe isn't going anywhere!"

Hector leaned forward, breath held.

Slaughter jabbed a thumb into his chest.

"Because the price of freedom isn't comfort. It isn't convenience. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. And as long as there's a threat out there, Cobra, Cobra‑La, or any tin‑can knockoff, G.I. Joe will be ready."

Quick Kick popped into frame behind Hector, pumping a fist. "Yeah! Like in Die Hard! 'Welcome to the party, pal!'"

Slaughter didn't even blink.

"Tonight, we shut down a criminal operation. Tomorrow, we'll be ready for whatever comes next. That's the Joe way."

The feed cut back to Hector, who looked like he'd just won a journalism award he invented himself.

"There you have it, America. Direct confirmation from Sgt. Slaughter himself! G.I. Joe remains active, vigilant, and essential. And as long as threats linger in the shadows, Twenty Questions will be here to shine a light."

He turned to the camera, voice dropping to its signature dramatic cadence.

"I'm Hector Ramirez. And tonight, we learned that freedom may be fragile… but its defenders are not. Good night."