This episode operated as Sunbow G.I. Joe's only Christmas episode.
A Sailor and his parrot:
Sunbow, much like all well-done programming, used recurring character beats to create familiarity across episodes. They were anchors for kids watching after school, the same way live-action sitcoms use catchphrases or signature reactions. Shipwreck/Polly was one of the most reliable examples of that rhythm.
Even without serialized plots, the characters felt consistent. That was the power of Sunbow G.I. Joe over DIC G.I. Joe. Each Joe had a clear, memorable personality hook.
Polly started the episode singing Jingle Bells. Shipwreck annoyed, shot back, "Button your beak, bird, or there's a feather duster in your future."
So, Polly would typically say or do something, then Shipwreck would react. Kids instantly recognized the pattern.
Polly could zing Shipwreck; it didn't undercut Shipwreck, because Shipwreck was both the hero and the butt of the joke. Polly also got the joy of being the only verbal pet. He got to comment on things, mocked Shipwreck, and acted as a mirror to the audience's reactions.
Wild Weasel, rarely used, did show up and offered some horrible lines: "Happy Holidays from Wild Weasel, you Christmas turkeys." Just sad. He had to say his own name otherwise, kids watching would have had no idea who he was. Sorry, Wild Weasel, but it's true.
And, oh wow. Even then, Cobra was pushing "Happy Holidays" over "Merry Christmas." I should have known they were behind The War on Christmas!
In any case, he pushed the Joes into rock cover, where another C-Lister, Firefly, added some more toys to the lot to set up the Cobra's "Trojan Horse" moment.
Skeleton Crew:
This was fairly close to the Joe Cast in Lights! Camera! Cobra! (a group of "oddballs" Duke wanted out of his hair, Shipwreck claimed).
Duke — The Hostage / The Face of the Team
Narrative Function: Cobra needed a high‑value hostage to justify Zartan's impersonation plot. Sergeant Duke Hauser was the only choice.
Branding Logic: Duke was the "default Joe" for most kids. For a Christmas episode, Duke had to be present. Using him as the face of a false flag operation makes sense in-verse. It worked both meta and within the show's world.
Cover Girl — The Acting Commander
Narrative Function: Typically, most Joes were treated as equals, but there was a sense that Cover Girl and Scarlett were high up. Cover Girl was competent, calm, and positioned as a field leader with Duke taken by Cobra Commander. The only other choice among those on hand would have been Roadblock.
Branding Logic: She's one of the few female Joes, making her pop more, and a dog handler or a flamethrower wasn't the stuff of command, so having her in charge made more sense than the others stuck on holiday duty.
Blowtorch — Oblivious Enthusiasm Guy
Narrative Function: He delivered the "I always wanted one of these" line that tips off the audience that something is off. He's the guy who was pointing to kids watching, "This! Look at this!"
Branding Logic: Blowtorch was the perfect "oblivious enthusiasm" guy for a Cobra Trojan Horse plot. He was seen as a newer Joe in the Rockets Red Glare episode. He's a guy who still had a way to go in his career as a Joe.
Mutt — The Holiday Blues Guy
Narrative Function: Holiday Melancholy has been used in many Christmas specials, then, now, and tomorrow. It gave the episode heart. Mutt's parents were more into the Holiday itself. He didn't get to trim the tree, wrap presents, or even get to hang up his own stocking, so he always had this left out feeling.
Branding Logic: Mutt's gruffness fit well with seasonal sadness and created instant empathy. We also saw Junkyard turn down a turkey leg to provide his master some comfort, so we get their relationship as well.
Roadblock — The Cook / The Heart of the Team
Narrative Function: Someone had to be making the Christmas dinner. Roadblock was the only Joe who was canonically a gourmet chef. "Smack your lips and feast your eyes! Roadblock cooked you a big surprise!"
Branding Logic: He's a fan favorite, and his rhyming dialogue was a crowd pleaser. But it could wear thin based on how good the rhymes the writers came up with. "That witch has a way with a laser ray." Oof.
Dusty — The Reliable Specialist
Narrative Function: Dusty was the dependable, level‑headed soldier who filled gaps in the roster.
Branding Logic: The same voice actor as for Shipwreck, so it was an easy fit to also use him. But he's not really the focus in this episode.
Shipwreck — The Escape Artist
Narrative function: He freed the team from the freezer in the most Shipwreck way possible. "You know, me and that side of beef could have a meaningful relationship!" Both Cover Girl and Polly doubted him. "Is your brain frostbitten or what?"
Branding Logic: His "dry‑humping a side of beef to get off the hook" moment. If it works, it works. Shipwreck operated as sort of a "anything and the kitchen sink" kind of character. Needed a gag, a guy lusting over ladies, foolhardy heroism, Shipwreck was your guy!
Wild Bill — The Pilot for the Finale
Narrative function: Someone has to fly the Cobra FANG during the climax (that always looked like a death trap to me). We also see him lamenting shooting down his own Dragonfly, spotting the sentimentality many people have for their ride. "... feel like I just lost my best horse."
Branding Logic: Wild Bill is the go‑to pilot when you don't want to use Ace, and frankly, I prefer Wild Bill's country swagger to Ace's cornball poker puns anyway. DIC energy before DIC G.I. Joe was even a thing. You'd like Captain Grid-Iron, Ace.
Tripwire — The Mystery Inclusion
Narrative function: Tripwire acted as a safe background Joe; his only personality quirk was that he was a klutz. He didn't overshadow anyone; he added to the skeleton crew vibe. Tripwire also delivered the "I just decided, I hate puns" line while the Joes were on "ice" in a bit of fourth-wall-breaking meta commentary as the Christmas puns were indeed heavy in this episode by Cobra.
Branding Logic: Well, Tripwire did work Destro's molecular reducer-enlarger, so he's about as close to a tech guy in this episode for G.I. Joe there was. He's seen on hand next to Duke randomly during Lt. Falcon's hearing, his final claim to fame. Dial-Tone would become a much better iteration in Season 2, filling the spot as the awkward loser Joe.
The Incredible Shrinking Super Weapon:
Destro literally tells the Joes that the molecular reducer-enlarger represented a decade of development, and what did Cobra use it for? How about shrinking cities, military targets? Creating large scale attack forces?
Nope! Nope! and nope! They used it to shrink an entire invasion force into Christmas presents to take control of G.I. Joe HQers.
There was a meta-commentary streak similar with The Gamesmaster episode, comparing retro toys to what G.I. Joe represented at the time as a toy line. But that's pretty lowkey use of a fairly powerful weapon. "Come on, use your imagination," as Shipwreck said to Cover Girl.
Major Bludd and paratroopers emerged from the rocking horse. The underused S.N.A.K.E. Robots were stuffed inside teddy bears, very "weaponized childhood" territory. Of course, Zartan and the Dreadnoks burst out of a ball. It's chaotic, loud, and visually ridiculous. Exactly their brand. Cobra air forces emerge from a drum set.
Major Bludd riding out on a fire truck as if it's a war chariot was both wonderfully absurd and visually perfect. It's the kind of image that sticks in a kid’s brain for decades. This also worked as a way to teach children how to mix and match toy lines to supplement their G.I. Joe playtime.
So, briefly, Joes go up against the micro-Cobra forces, until Firefly shows up and maxes them back to normal size. The small Joe crew is overwhelmed, but Destro's "pop-gun" was broken during the brief battle, which becomes very important for the final sequence.
S.N.A.K.E. Armor vs. S.N.A.K.E. Robots:
This was one of those old-time nerdy G.I. Joe debates. Which was it? Sunbow made their own translation choice where the animation team took a toyline concept and tweaked it for clarity, speed, and broadcast‑standards loopholes.
Let’s break down why turning the Battle Armor into autonomous robots was such a clean win for the show.
If a SNAKE suit was piloted by a Cobra trooper, then every time it got blown up, Sunbow would have just vaporized a guy on children's programming. By making them robots, Sunbow could:
blast them
melt them
blow them apart
drop them down elevator shafts
…all without violating broadcast rules. This also provided simplifying animation.
No need to show a trooper climbing into the armor, the cockpit opening, the suit sealing, the pilot reacting inside… this would all be time‑consuming for lesser Cobra tech. By contrast, a robot marching forward in simplified retro sci-fi movements, G.I. Joe characters up against it, firing at it, and it exploding...
…was cheap, fast, and reusable beat.
This was also the reason She-Ra settled on the Horde Troopers as robots, as opposed to people in armor. Robot = no one gets hurt = okay to destroy.
Hasbro got the visual presence of the S.N.A.K.E. Armor on an episode of the cartoon. Sunbow gets the freedom to use them however they want. Kids get the fantasy of "robot enemies" instead of "guys in suits." Everybody wins.
A Very Merry Cobra Commander Christmas:
"We now have the Joes weapons and vehicles we need for tomorrow's attack on Keystone City," Baroness spoke to Destro, who was preoccupied with his busted super weapon.
Even when Cobra had the upper hand, Destro was not happy, more frustrated over his ruined decade‑long project. He typically felt like more could always be done.
It would also set up Cobra Commander as the only one to enjoy this plan, who did not care about minor details, just results.
"You're going to attack a city... with our gear?" a confused Wild Bill asked. He was the Joe straight‑shooter who reacted like a normal human being when Cobra did something insane.
"... to make the government think we're behind it!" Cover Girl spat out, catching onto Cobra's False Flag plot.
Cover Girl was the one who thought tactically, saw the political implications, and called it out before anyone else. It reinforced her role as acting commander.
"Yesss," Cobra Commander crowed, "A tragic mistake, but quite understandable especially after they've ssseen thisss." He lived for this kind of melodramatic flourish.
He turned on the view screen, and there was Duke, who had the gleam of evil in his eyes and a slight smirk as he delivered an ultimatum.
The slightly off cadence hinted that something was wrong to the kids watching.
"I haven't done a thing, have I, Duke?" Cobra Commander responded, fanning innocence.
"No, master. Not a thing," Duke said, emerging from another room, and it did seem for a moment he had turned traitor.
"It can't be!"
"Zartan!" Cover Girl said, a weaker moment in the scripting, as it's not great when people do a "it's so-and-so."
Zartan's entire identity was built around impersonation.
He could mimic voices, appearances, and mannerisms, and all it took was a simple mask to finish the job. When Zartan walked out pretending to be Duke, it instantly told children watching: “Oh! I can use any male G.I. Joe figure to be Zartan pretending to be someone else."
Cobra Commander, loving his plan and satisfied with himself, enjoyed his moment. "Hahahaha! Tomorrow, the real Duke will be aboard my Skystriker. This will confirm that the Joes have turned traitor!"
"The heck we have!" Cover Girl yelled, angry, or as I always heard it, "The hell we have!"
At that moment, Tripwire thought Christmas would be destroyed once and for all. Just look at him! Pull yourself together, you big crybaby. Shipwreck and Polly will save the day! No really, they do!
Christmas Morning With Destro:
A few things happen in the sprint to the finish. Major Bludd and Cobra troops were preparing G.I. Joe gear for their attack on Keystone City.
Cobra Commander had the captured Joes taken away so they wouldn't cause "mischief," "somewhere in keeping with the season." Which turned out to be a walk-in freezer.
Cobra Commander, ever one to gloat, does provide them a "present" on a fine holiday morning, the key to their handcuffs. "I'll hang it right here... just out of reach! Hahaha!" Cobra Commander laughed, thinking the Joes were helpless.
But Shipwreck had already unhooked himself, and he, along with the others, listened as Cobra Commander ranted like a madman, " ... and while you reflect on my generosity, remember, more presents are coming your way, tons of them! Hahaha!"
This was Cobra Commander's big flaw; when he was winning, he needed someone to put under his heel so he could rub his overconfidence in their face.
Destro stayed behind to work on his molecular reducer-enlarger. The guy really was just a workaholic, huh? The freed Joes take out the S.N.A.K.E. Robots, but Destro deadpans, "You needn't bother. Cobra Commander and the others have departed to attack Keystone City with your vehicles and in your name."
"We'll stop them somehow, Destro!" Cover Girl responded, "We still have you!"
"Do you?" Destro shot back, "Or do I have you?" Destro understood the tactical advantage his device gave him and attempted to shrink the Joes to subatomic nothingness. So, briefly, a bit of dodgeball went on until Polly distracted Destro and got shrunk for his trouble.
So, this was the opening for Cover Girl and the others. "Smother him! Smother him!" Cover Girl yelled.
I touched and compared this to the showdown DIC Cobra Commander and DIC Serpentor had in Operation: Dragonfire.
Destro, indeed, did have the most powerful weapon in the room, but it was a single-shot device and needed more stationary targets. The Joes were able to subdue him by just jumping on him.
.... and not a bad Christmas morning for Shipwreck, getting to jump crotch first onto Cover Girl's butt. Yes, I'm rehashing a joke! "Anchor's away... errrr... Merry Christmas!"
This did create a small continuity issue, where Destro was captured by G.I. Joe. Typically, the show had all mainline Cobra characters escape once their plot unraveled. So, how did Destro get out of this? We never know. He's last seen in Joe custody.
And speaking of a "small" problem, poor Polly was shrunk down by Destro for his heroics. As that classic half-truth/half-lie saying goes, "no good deed goes unpunished" and all that jazz.
There also still seemed to be something the matter with Destro's super weapon. I know I wouldn't want to be shot by it, but the Joes had no choice, so Tripwire did reverse Polly's size.
Polly, spinning into Shipwreck's hands, said, "Polly feels dizzy." And Shipwreck, never one to let on how much he cared, said, "Ah, Poor Polly. I'm going to miss you in the battle with Cobra, but not very much."
This would pay off all the screen time given to Destro's gun being damaged, as Polly would grow massive as the scene ended.
Learning Play Patterns:
The episode marched to its end with a built‑in play pattern taught to children, delivered through story.
Cobra forces were operating stolen Joe equipment in an attempt to frame them for attacking a city. The Joes, then, counterattacked using the left behind Cobra equipment.
Sunbow knew exactly what it was doing. It's a play mechanic being demonstrated on screen.
This showed children that vehicles weren't faction‑locked. So, if Cobra can steal a Skystriker, then your villains at home could do the same. Your Joes could hop into a FANG or a CLAW as well.
Shipwreck was seen in a Trouble Bubble in Lights! Camera! Cobra! episode as well, so that almost seemed like his go-to Cobra gear. Blowtorch, not a Joe I give much thought to, I will admit, looked cool piloting a CLAW.
Capture-and-counterplay is fun. This episode illustrated a simple loop that any child could do.
- Cobra steals Joe gear
- Joes steals Cobra gear
- Both sides use the enemy's tech against them
That's a full narrative cycle a child could recreate endlessly, even if they only had a handful of vehicles.
Any vehicle can be repurposed. This would later become a major focus of the toy line as well, with sub-teams making use of vehicles from both Joe and Cobra (for better or for worse LOL). I personally felt that once sub-teams mattered more than characters, G.I. Joe lost its magic going into the '90s.
Faction identity ultimately came from characters, not the hardware. A Joe in a FANG was still a Joe. A Cobra trooper in a VAMP was still Cobra.
We see Wild Bill outfly Wild Weasel with a FANG vs. his own Dragonfly. The gear for both sides can do the job; what really matters was the character using it.
This encouraged mixing, improvising, and storytelling freedom. And while the Mutt holiday blues subplot is kind of an off-hand little care sort of deal, this play pattern loop was the biggest part of the episode.
How Polly Saved Christmas:
A missile from the Rattler grazes the Skystriker Cobra Commander was in.
"You've had your warning, Cobra Commander!" Cover Girl threatened, "Land or next time I won't miss."
Cobra Commander, a man without any scruples, a man without any honor, knew he had the upper hand, "She's bluffing," he said to Duke. "If she shoots me down, you'll go too. She'd never risk that. Fortunately, I have no such qualms about eliminating her! Hahahaha."
Cobra Commander's loop maneuver showed competence/skills piloting the Skystriker and he certainly did intend to kill Cover Girl, but Duke interjected. Duke was handcuffed, but could still uses his hands all the same.
But Cobra Commander still had reach, and did manage to fire a rocket at Cover Girl. I do like the detailed controls shown. The episode was well animated.
The perfect Sunbow "absurd but awesome" moment with giant Polly showing up, saving Cover Girl. The characters themselves behaved like real people, but G.I. Joe would be involved in the fantastical, like this, because of the typical near-future/sci-fi tech Cobra used.
It was fitting that Cobra Commander found himself panicking at the sight of giant Polly as well, as his plan unraveled. Its excellent comedy and Cobra Commander deserved it, and the danger is certainly real. Polly could end Cobra Commander.
But as it is Cobra Commander does manage to eject and toss Duke away, "Happy landings, Duke!" Cobra Commander gloated, but again, The giant parrot saves the Joe leader like it's the most normal thing in the world.
The episode ends with character beats.
Episode Review:
This episode didn't really focus too much on Christmas or a lesson. It thankfully didn't use the stock trope of the Joes being shrunk. That idea is rarely good. The play pattern teachings are all well done. It's great seeing characters in their winter gear. Well animated. Cover Girl looked attractive.
And this was a Shipwreck, Cover Girl (most lines spoken by Joes) episode, although I'd like a bit more of their push-pull relationship. It only focused on briefly with the beef bit. Polly saving the day is great.
I blame Tripwire for Destro escaping.
Oh, and this episode gave us this great, iconic visual of Cobra Commander:
3 out of 4 stars, only a few minor quibbles, but very enjoyable.
Great write up! This was a lot of fun, thanks!
ReplyDeleteYeah, this episode probably is the real origins of Tiger Force.
Worlds Without Ends, Flint stole a Fang and Barbecue and Airtight ride on the skids, where the toys had pegs for figures.
I swear I remember Covergirl and Dukes kiss being more romantic, and not on the cheek, but the lips. Mandela effect at work again. Giant Polly, lol.
The only other Duke/Cover Girl stuff is her needling Scarlett in The Phantom Brigade, "Don't worry about Duke, he's right here beside me..." but I take that as more girl-inner teasing.
DeleteIt's a fun episode that doesn't lean heavily into sappy "this the reason for the season" tropes. There's actually a villain plot and it's not really war on christmas. LOL.
ReplyDelete