Serpentor's downfall in Operation: Dragonfire was swift and... surprisingly understated?
... especially compared to his dramatic rise in the Sunbow era.
"Let the web of remembrance tell the tale!"
Cobra Commander vs. Serpentor:
Copperhead ran up to Cobra Commander and informed him, "Serpentor is overhead in the Condor-Z25."
So, Cobra Commander ordered Scoop and Copperhead to "give Serpentor a welcome he won't forget."
Serpentor was unaware that Cobra Commander was no longer a snake, nor did he know about the loyalists Cobra Commander had enlisted or the impending coup.
Despite being brash and self-assured, Sunbow Serpentor was always vigilant and not easily deceived. He was no fool and on guard and paranoid. He wouldn't go to a hot spot combat locale in play with just one jet and one useless specialized air force Viper. Well, this lame DIC Serpentor would, though.
The Sunbow Serpentor would be in a Cobra mothership with Cobra forces on hand or flying with a squadron of Night Ravens.
And Serpentor was surprised when Scoop and Copperhead's python jets didn't show up on radar (featuring their play patterns, Python Patrol was invisible to tech). Wouldn't it be better to put this to use against G.I. Joe, ah, nah, just a toss-away scene.
This was all very lackluster as the animation was not great or as dynamic as the jet battles in Sunbow.
Serpentor was ordered to be escorted to the ground.
He then went on a private channel and offered Copperhead a promotion if he helped him deal with Scoop, then Cobra Commander.
That's the best Seprentor could offer, a damn promotion? This counter move was trash. Very limp dicked, sad, and pathetic. Out was thunderous command, and in was a desperate bride bribe (re: Typo-Viper strikes again). It was embarrassing to watch.
Serpentor was a generically engineered warlord, but surprisingly, Operation: Dragonfire made no mention of it. DIC Serpentor might as well just be some man in a snake suit. What made Sunbow Serpentor tick was dominance, charisma, and battlefield supremacy. It's all gone.
Why would Copperhead care about a promotion? He's a mercenary type. His allegiance was transactional. Cobra looked like a joke in DIC, who'd want further leadership responsibility of that sorry lot, and Serpentor typically didn't deal with mercs in Sunbow Season 2.
Besides, Serpentor was in a bomber!
Carpet bomb them! Scoop wouldn't be a factor.
The only play feature the DIC cartoon showed off was the Condor splitting in two, looking like, of all things, egg yolk at that point, and then both parts being easily defeated. So, DIC really sold that toy. LOL
But as it is, Scoop won the battle and Seprentor was forced to eject, "You'll suffer for this," he claimed. I'm sure Scoop would, Serpentor, I'm sure he would. LOL
One thing about DIC Serpentor, he had no standing and could not back up his threats, unlike Sunbow Serpentor, who was powerful and feared. This Serpentor might as well be shaking his fists like a loser, "Damn you! Damn you all!"
The irresistible force meeting the immovable object:
Oh, wait, that was the André the Giant/Hulk Hogan match at WM3. This was just the very dumb showdown between Cobra Commander and Serpentor.
Serpentor was then given a humiliating landing as he hit the ground on his butt because DIC wanted to frame him as a fool and someone to be laughed at.
"Seize him!" Cobra Commander demanded.
"The first man who touches me will curse the day they were born," Serpentor claimed. Another empty threat.
Cobra Commander had his Python Patrol, which he claimed to Destro earlier, "could be the turning point" in G.I. Joe and Cobra conflict. Yet, they stood around with their dicks in their hands, useless as any non-Pythonized Cobra troop. The Dreadnok lackey Gnawgahyde was there, as well, and did nothing.
No one made a move on Serpentor.
Everyone looked like losers and geeks at this moment. Cobra Commander for creating a lame strike force. The Python Patrol Vipers for doing nothing. Gnawgahyde as well. Serpentor for not taking control of the situation by manhandling Cobra Commander.
Serpentor was hopelessly outnumbered. Just pounce on him! Tackle him! Use the numbers advantage! Or open fire with weapons! Toss a grenade at him! Do something! Anything! This was Cobra Commander's amazing new strike force... that completely and utterly sucked.
Cover Girl had it right in Cobra Claws Are Coming to Town, again, Sunbow showing simple, logical tactics against Destro and his shrinking device (a single, more powerful enemy could be subdued by many). Just smother him!
... and Shipwreck got to jump crotch first onto Cover Girl's butt! "Anchors away!" LOL
This did create a bit of a standoff for a minute, and the "reunion" between these two rivals was a letdown.
"But Cobra Commander, you are looking almost... human," Serpentor remarked. I'm sure Cobra Commmander was shaking in his boots at this moment.
Despite being without a single ally and certainly doomed, Serpentor had no issue with trash-talking, adding, "The last time I saw you, you were still eating flies," as if they were rival co-workers who had not seen one another in a while.
There is an odd stiffness to DIC characters standing still that was off-putting visually. Cobra Commander looked like he was holding in a fart, but the Python Viper in the back did amuse me with his "oh shit" reaction.
The scene lacked tension. There's no dramatic build-up, no sense that Serpentor might actually turn the tide. It's quite the fizzle, not a clash of the disputed leaders of Cobra.
Alley Viper! His name is Alley Viper:
Just then, the put-upon butt-monkey Alley Viper showed up. Because this loser was just what this scene needed.
He'd been the whipping boy for Cobra Commander, Baroness for being "one of Destro's favorites" (Baroness was pissed off Destro dumped her, which was what this was really all about), and put on snake collection duty as punishment.
Earlier he was a Crimson Guardsman, the top position for any trooper in Cobra. He had willingly transferred to a lower ranking even before Cobra Commander came back to power, so Alley Viper wasn't the brightest Cobra ever.
Oh, and everyone called him Alley Viper, as if that were his name, like John Smith or Peter David. Alley Viper. First name Alley, last name Viper.
"By the Cobra's fangs, it's Serpentor!" Alley Viper said in a sniveling manner, returning from the jungle, whimpering like a buffoon, his posture embarrassing as well. Just look at this:
The Alley Viper figure in 1989 was marketed as a fearsome urban assault trooper: rifle, riot shield, backpack with a grappling hook, face blast shield, bold colors, and brute force. The figure was ready for close-quarters combat. This guy in Operation: Dragonfire was ineffectual, submissive, and a symbol of Serpentor's dwindling relevance.
The result was, what kid watching this would want an Alley Viper figure? He's a loser! Wasn't the entire point to get a G.I. Joe cartoon going again and promote product? So far, the Condor looked lame, Python Patrol troops looked lame, and now Alley Viper looked lame.
"Why, Alley Viper, it's good to see you," Serpentor replied, as if Alley Viper were his actual name and they were good friends. More of this weird, off-putting, stilted scripting that did not feel natural in DIC G.I. Joe. They had, in some cases, old Sunbow writers, but the orders were given. This was a commercial product first and only. Dumb it down, do it cheap.
Imagine Darth Vader speaking, "Why, Stormtrooper, it is good to see you."
Cobra Commander mocked Alley Viper. The disgust wasn't just personal. It was a meta editorial. The show itself was telling viewers that Serpentor was no longer cool, and only losers and geeks like Alley Viper liked him. It's a deliberate devaluation.
DIC's Cobra was simplified villainy. Most were paper-thin villains, cartoonish geeks. Serpentor, for his part, stood around awaiting irrelevance. The show didn't trust the young viewership to side against villains who were capable to an extent. Hand holding to the "correct" reactions instead.
DIC Serpentor Defeated:
Then Cobra Commander lost his temper and yelled out to all on hand, "Is there no one here who will help rid me of this ssself-sssatisfied vermin?" Chris Latta's voice performance was one of the few things DIC G.I. Joe had going for it.
Just then, Night Viper showed up on the scene. They would talk to him as if his name were Night Viper, first name Night, last name Viper.
Actually, secretly, it was Low-Light, a Sunbow legacy G.I. Joe character, so at least he still had a bit of a coolness factor. Low-Light didn't have as much of the DIC crap on him as other characters.
"Let me make sure I understand, Cobra Commander. You want someone to take care of this piece of reptilian slime?" Low-Light, as Night Viper, asked... again DIC had to spell things out painfully. DIC did not trust its audience.
"Night Viper! Your career in Cobra is finished! Consider yourself under arrest!" Serpentor yelled from the side.
No longer an emperor, but a hapless Cobra administrator. Another empty threat. How was Night Viper going to be arrested, Serpentor? Was Alley Viper going to do it?
Sepentor then just stood there as Cobra Commander spoke and offered, "Deal with Serpentor, Night Viper, and untold riches will be your's."
That's a much better offer than the one Serpentor made to Copperhead earlier. Bribe someone. I'd rather the riches than the promotion!
Low-Light replied, "Thanks, Commander, but I'd rather do it just for fun." Because that's how Low-Light rolled. He released a python from his bag, and it attacked Serpentor.
This actually pissed me off as a kid.
Sunbow Serpentor, one of his genetic donors, was King Tashaka. Serpentor was in part, a snake king. Serpentor's blood was the most deadly poison on Earth. He drank snake venom like wine. He had... control over snakes. We see it in My Favorite Things, then in G.I. Joe: The Movie with his living snake darts.
But hey, apparently, all it took to defeat DIC Serpentor was a bag and a random python in it. DIC tried to sell this as the follow-up to Sunbow, but the characters were all different.
By the way, that's nine Python Patrol Vipers and Gnawgahyde holding up their fists like they did something. That aren't cool just because Low-Light solved their issue.
Sunbow Serpentor was supposed to die in G.I. Joe : The Movie. Which made more narrative sense. The hero defeats the villain. Lt. Falcon ended up defeating Serpentor not because of revenge, either, but instead he was trying to get to the B.E.T. and to save the Earth from the mutation spores.
Starscream didn't defeat Megatron in Transformers: The Movie; it was Optimus Prime.
Cobra Commander's restoration was the real narrative priority for DIC G.I. Joe. The cartoon sucked, but it still had Cobra Commander. It was the only card it had to play, really.
Serpentor was just a loose end to snip in DIC's mind, and it was more of a toothless fool to give Cobra Commander a victory over, as he and Destro would get their asses handed to them in the finale of Dragonfire.
DIC Seprentor can't even get loose from those cheap-looking straps. His hands are free! Just reach up, release the straps, and get out of there. If you are on your feet, those Python Patrol Vipers won't do anything!
This goes to my theory, this Serpentor was just a guy in a snake suit.
Nothing about DIC Seprentor made him "Serpentor."
One last thing.
The pythonizing ray fused two objects together, which is why Cobra Commander needed a steady supply of python snakes from the jungle.
Of course, Cobra Commander didn't want Serpentor back. It's meant to imply, "You'll never be clean again." Even if Serpentor re-emerged, he'd be a fly-eating lizard in everyone's mind. He's a punchline, not a threat. Even restoration won't erase the shame.
The script depicted the lizard-Serpentor fleeing into the jungle in fear, which suggested he still retained his cognitive abilities. This portrayal leaned toward a grim body horror scenario that seems beyond the scope of DIC G.I. Joe, too good for it?
In the DIC airing, the scene was simplified. Gnawgahyde unfastened the restraints and jokingly threatened, "Hey Serpentor, let's throw another iguana on the barbecue; I hear they are just delicious."
The animation was so basic that Serpentor appeared happy to be in his new form. While the intention was likely to show that Serpentor ran off in fear, the poor animation instead made it look like he and Gnawgahyde were off to play.
Serpentor's End Redux:
"I think it's time you had a demonstration of yet another Cobra superweapon that will amount to nothing," Cobra Commander bragged. "I've been using my MASS Device pythonizing ray to make another toothless strike force G.I. Joe can easily defeat."
"No, you don't know what you're doing," a scared and whimpering Serpentor complained. Which made no sense. If Cobra Commander knew how to do one thing, it was superweapons that G.I. Joe easily defeated.
"On the contrary," Cobra Commander went on, "And once Cobra loses control of all Dragonfire repositories, I won't even be able to make more of my Python Patrol, rendering this toy promotion a big pile of ssshit."
"In the meantime, I will join you with... the Baroness' rather extensive DVR backlog of daytime programming," Cobra Commander gleefully threatened.
"OooOooo! I so do love the Young & the Restless, the Bold & the Beautiful, and my talk shows, The Price is Right and and..." Baroness beamed. Gnawgahyde groaned and rolled his eyes, "No wonder Destro broke up with you!"
Serpentor, panicked, spat out, "No! You wouldn't dare!" Which made no sense. Cobra Commander certainly would dare. He'd even double-dog dare! Triple-dog dare for that matter!
Cobra Commander enjoyed Serpentor squirming and added, "And though the change will be temporary, I can assure you that even when you change back into human form..."
"... you'll never lose your love for Joy Baher, Whoopi Goldberg and The View," Gnawgahyde finished off. The Dreadnok goon was all smiles, rubbing it in to Sepentor that he would never be the same, no matter what!
Seprentor yelled, "NoooOooo!" pathetically, but it was too late. The process began.
Baroness meanwhile off to the side asked, "You don't mind that I'm back with Destro, huh, Zarana?"
"Nah," Zarana said, not missing a beat. "Destro was a rebound anyway. It just sucks I lost all my depth because Mainframe doesn't have a figure on the shelves in 1989."
Sighing, Zarana further complained, "Now I'll just be fan service and slut shamed in this version of the cartoon."
The miniseries is more about Cobra than GI JOE. But what we learn is that Cobra is pathetic now. There's no great loyalty to Serpentor but also no one willing to risk their lives to take care of him. (He easily pushed around Gnawgahyde in part 1). I can speculate that these were post-movie recruits or maybe jaded survivors to whom Serpentor's mystique had faded. Not a great leader, it's been 3 years and Cobra's suffered losses under Serpentor.
ReplyDelete"Your career in Cobra is over!" Like what kind of career is that?
I can rationalize that CG's transfer to Alley-Viper. He'd been undercover for who knows how long, wearing a rubber mask most of the day (I found that part silly), and wanted to be back where the action was. He had his choice of any unit he wanted (the ones that still existed). Alley-Viper was still an elite unit. But you are right, Dic demeaned him and made him pathetic.
Yes, the cheaper Python Conquest toy can shoot down both parts of the more expensive Cobra Condor. Reminds me of Sunbow's Pyramid of Darkness, Cobra CLAWS on the ground shooting down a Sky Striker!
I don't hate Operation Dragonfire. There was an attempt to tell a decent story, but it failed due to not having a better story editor, voice acting (Maurice Lamarche is a good actor, but half the characters are him now) and of course animation.
I've done my critique of Scoop, the Baroness Destro Zarana situation, now Serpentor, and the poor promotion of toys.
DeleteDragonfire's BIGGEST failing was the lack of a compelling hero. The name of the show is G.I. Joe. It would get much worse in those regular-season episodes with non-characters all over the place.
There is something further to be said about Copperhead, but it's not as pressing, that whole Worlds Without End factor.
I think the B.E.T. opened up a portal and sucked the survivors into Worlds Without End. That is what DIC really is, an alternate reality, and why Copperhead is there. Also, Baroness in Dragonfire is working against Serpentor...like the Worlds Without End Baroness would be doing.
ReplyDeleteMy blood boils thinking about this and being reminded of how painful juvenile and tepid the DIC animation version of Joe was. Operation Dragonfire, to this day, is as far as I got watching DIC Joe. It's funny that I still haven't tried to get through them, since I love Chris Latta in particular, and writers that I respect like Christy Marx contributed some scripts. But I feel like it will be like chugging a jug of swill and trying not to gag constantly. It is really hard to go backwards when you've been spoiled with reasonably good scripts that push the envelope of what could be done on daytime kids shows, along with superb voice acting and direction. The creative team at Sunbow, for that window of time in the early to mid-1980s, genuinely cared and were passionate about what they were doing. Which is why it felt like more than just a toy commercial. They wanted the story to come first.
ReplyDeleteThat said, this blog was hilarious to read. It has all the pep and fire that I remember having back in the day when I was coding in early HTML writing my thoughts for Zartan's Domain. Not something I expected to still find on the internet in 2025. I like what you're doing. Keep it up.